Trying to change for the better. Recently, I feel like more people have been trying to talk to me and inviting me to things. That’s good right?! I am so shy. I know I should trust more, love more, and be open to others. But it is so hard.
I’ve worked really hard on myself. Worked very hard to find appreciation of the things that I have in life and of those around me. But becoming less socially awkward is a challenge.
I’ve always loved my close friends. Been happy with those I have. But when new people try to say “hello”. When new people may gain interest in me I shut down. In an earlier post I believe I mention wanting to be more open with others. I want this for myself because I think it will be the next step in life. And I want to forge meaningful connections.
However, when a guy talks to me on a bus ride I answer with a quick response and put my nose in a book or pretend to be more occupied with my phone. Whenever people try to be friends with me I become overly suspicious of their intentions and push them away.
I feel like I am at an age of newly 22 where I SHOULD be less shy right? I think people think that I am less mature, or younger because of my shyness.
I am aware of myself doing these things when it happens. But I don’t stop it. It is like being in autopilot. This is my habitual response. Changing it is very difficult. But I want to change. I want to be less shy.
Trying to be less shy newly 22 year old Wallflower