Committing yourself being a BFF is kinda of like being married.

fingerfriends

I know this sounds strange but sometimes I feel “married” to my best friend. We are that committed to each other. I don’t think I’ll ever have a friendship like ours. Our minds are linked by a common radiowave and we just jive. I know some others have been jealous of our relationship but we just work. She likes to be in silent control of the relationship.  I on the other hand like being silently controlled. It’s strange but I am definitely the reacher and I like it when I am. She likes to embarrass me. And I don’t mind being teased ( I realize that being as I am in my reactions that being teased is natural). I’m the diva and she is the  cool cucumber. Whenever I need someone to talk to she’s there. Whenever I am stressed I end up turning to her. We banter back and forth and poke fun at eachother but when  I look at it we probably seem like a long time married couple. We are integral to each other (though I tend to believe that is more from my side than hers). Geographically, we plan to move in the same area so we can still provide each other with support later in life (though it may not happen in future). I never believed I’d live to be old neither did she but now we can see each other as two senile old women sitting on a farm with our rocking chairs terrorizing the poor neighbor people and husbands. We basically have committed ourselves to being best friends forever. That is basically a marriage commitment!

Like a married couple who’ve been married for a long time we have had to work on ourselves changing as individuals. Over the years we’ve both changed so much and adapted to it. It’s not like when you have that fresh best friends feeling! And then stuff happens and you drift apart never to return. We’ve both had our drifting periods we’ve both had times we didn’t speak as much (not because we fought but because we changing or wanted a change). At the end of the day we always came back to each other though and worked on issues proactively by communicating problems. Seriously, committing to accepting the change in a person and still liking them a much as when you met them can prove difficult at times. Ultimately, through all we’ve been through though we like each other more than early in our friendship we’ve had our challenges and difficulties but the fact that we know that both of us still care about each other and would only act for each others best interest is constant. Similarly, I think that in a marriage or long term relationship you need to be accepting of the changes in your partner and still love them despite that.

We don’t love all of the same activities. There are times as friends we’ve had to compromise. Her getting a mani-pedi and me watching horror movies (which terrify me and I would only ever watch for someone I really care about!). We’ve had to be honest about or dislikes even if we know the other person might be upset that way we are conscious not to do things that upset them. Or you learn to do things in a way they don’t hate. We’ve had to learn to compromise to spend time together in ways we enjoy. Much like when you are in a relationship.

I think myself and my best friend basically committed to make our friendship work and continue to work in on our relationship as friends in much the way you do with when you are married to someone.  We comprise, we click, and we have accepted the changes in each other we are basically married (minus the romantic elements).

Don’t know what I did to deserve my bestie, newly 22 year old me

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