Always in the line of fire

You are slipping away…it’s not something new. I’ve felt it for a long time now. There is more I could be doing. And I think what upsets me most is that I know there is more I could be doing but I don’t. I don’t because a  part of me resents your for slipping away for the reasons you are…I never thought we would fall apart or at least not because of something so trivial. I never thought you would resent me for being successfully and doing better for myself. I never thought that it could create the wedge between us that it did. And because of this I question whether I want to salvage things when  I shouldn’t be sorry because I am trying to live better. I feel like I can’t tell you about when things are going well for me. I can’t tell you when good things are happening for me. Because I know you won’t be happy for me, in fact it could just upset you. And you are angry when I don’t tell you things because we are close friends and I should tell you things. But when can I do when telling you upsets you and not telling you upsets you. I feel like I can’t win no matter what I do. And I realize that maybe loosing you may be an inevitable…I will always appreciate you and hold you in high esteem. I just wonder if I can continue to do it when I feel like I am always in the line of fire…

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