Usually I am more positive. I see the positive in negative situations. But right now I can’t see straight. I can’t breathe. I can’t stop the tears from falling.

Initially, I thought my restless was out of worry. Worry that she may have been harmed on her trip.

Little did I know the restlessness was foreshadowing for my own downfall. They took away everything. Ensured that I had nothing going in. And now I have nothing at all.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to feel other than the grief of what I have lost.

How can anyone be so unkind? To send me this at 4:00am after all arrangements had been made. I can’t breathe. I can’t stop these tears. I can’t feel…anything…

I think I am in shock

One thought on “Shock

  1. I feel your pain. This was me just yesterday…bawling my eyes out over something my grandmother said to me. It was hurtful and I reacted in a way I told myself I wouldn’t do anymore. I took it out on my sister and later started crying my eyes out and feeling like shit.

    But after a reality check from my best friend who told me that same night that he had been in a fatal car accident, I had to snap out of my self-deprecation.

    I say this not to say to snap out of your grief but to tell you that if you can find something, anything to distract you from the pain, perhaps a hobby or your favorite TV show, you will realize whatever it was, was minor in comparison to the bigger picture. Life is much too short to waste it on things that we can’t change. My best friend had to remind me of that and I’m glad he did because I know now how to navigate pass the negativity.

    Fight it with every fiber in your being because you are worth more than a negative transitory thought.

    Liked by 1 person

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