I’m really shy and really quiet but not passive

and recently it seems to be an issue with people…because they equate shyness with passiveness. Which I don’t necessarily agree with. I understand how the misconception can be made. However, I don’t believe they are the same thing. I am a slow-to-warm personality. If anything that has only gotten worst since I’ve aged. I often times don’t know how to gauge a situation or a person and until I do I can be rather distant. But when I become more comfortable or “warmed-up” to a situation I become more open and responsive to the social situation. I know that this in itself may seem passive but I think if anything it is more guarded behaviour because I am familiar with being hurt by other people. At this point it is hard for me to take risks with others and I never knowingly put myself in situations where I know I will be hurt. What this leads to is a steely mask that usually sits in place for a few first interactions. However, I should note that even with this mask in place I am still polite and nice with others. Just a little more distant.

The thing is though people have equated this to passiveness in the past few weeks. And that isn’t really the case. I understand that I am slow to warm. But I think that has more to do with not repeating past situations then it is my confidence. My confidence isn’t bad it’s actually quite good. I usually exude with a quiet confidence that I don’t express or put in others face. I don’t often verbalize it because that isn’t something I think is always necessary. Instead I will probably silently get things done. I do things to show my confidence in my actions and not my words. I persevere even when others doubt me and I believe it is one of my strongest qualities.

That is why when others tell me I am passive because of my shyness, quietness, or guardedness I can’t help but disagree. Sometimes it takes adjusting to new situations, that however has nothing to do with my confidence or ability to stand up for myself.

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