I know it’s a little wrong

But honestly I couldn’t empathize with him. Not even a little. Usually, I have an out for thins kind of thing. Phone convo=I’m busy or something. But whenever we are face to face I have to deal with the situation head on. Even when I really, really want to get away. The thing is I can’t think the way he does. Nor can I relate to his side of things a lot of the time because I am shrouded by my own emotions. It’s like how dare you talk to me about this kind of thing when  you do it everyday? If you want my sympathy about this kind of thing you should fix your actions before coming to me to talk about it. Yes, I understand that, that may seem a little cruel. But it is so very blatant. It’s basically the only constant we have in our relationship. And I am a being of logic. I learn through patterns. His patterns. And he has the same ones over and over and over. I don’t expect him to change his behaviour and I have learned from  the past well enough to know how I deal. I know that since we can’t cut off contact that my best way of dealing is to minimize exposure and to only what process my emotions in itty bitty bits. It just sucks when I can’t take things at my own pace. I can’t always control things. That’s something I need to accept. But I have to find a healthier way of dealing with him. It’s a little wrong but I can’t empathize with him. I don’t think I ever could. There just to much hurt there for me to ever have it for him…


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