Trying to end this may start something else…

For five years this has been going on and for five years it has stressed me out. I’d tried multiple things before I got to this point. I tried to talk my way out of doing this a thousand times. Because I knew if I took this step there could be major repercussions for me. Bur I am absolutely tired.

G has been pursuing me for five years. Even though I’ve never waivered in the years I’ve rejected him. On top of that he made it his business to basically make his presence known on my social media. Which has been awful. I can hardly ever log into anything without seeing some form of message from him or his likes/loves all over my selfies. The sad thing is it’s only those but its happened often enough that I am sure people think that something is going. I suspect even my family thinks something romantic is going on between us because of what this guy does. But it’s all wrong!

I have rejected him several times. At first was nicer about things because I was sympathetic. However, after I rejected him time after time things became rather strained. He just wouldn’t take no for an answer and he’d get aggressive and mad. He’d tell me that I just needed to get over my feelings and be with him already, which was insane to me because if you love someone shouldn’t you want them to be happy?

Despite that I told him we could still be friends because he was once my childhood friend. Though in all honesty that time period was rather short. You see me and G met when I was 4-5. We didn’t see each other again until I was twenty and for about six weeks we were in the same country but we only saw each other a few times, and aside from that we’ve only had social media contact since. Nothing remotely romantic has happened in that time.

 

The sad thing is we don’t talk. He never asks me how my life is and has never asked me about my undergraduate, my friends, my hobbies, nothing. And whenever I’ve tried to talk about those things he changes the topic because he’s disinterested. The only talking he allows is professing his feelings. Us being together is all he wants to talk about and I don’t want that.

The thing that has daunted me about this situation was that if it was only him it wouldn’t be a problem. But it includes all my friends over there, my aunt (who basically considers him a second son), several of my cousins, and their kids. He is basically integrated in my extended family (even though we aren’t related) and I thought that burning that bridge could be extremely messy.

In the scheme of things my aunt would love him more than me because she knows him much better and has spent way more time with him. I’m basically the estranged niece living across the world. The thought of this becoming a strain between my mother and her sister made me feel awful.

But honestly it’s been five years of this guy basically harassing me online. I’ve been scared to log in for any period of time and it’s not right. I’ve even contemplated on getting new accounts but to be honest I’m not sure it would be worth that because one person is giving me a hard time.

I’ve honestly tried talking to him about this because I didn’t want to get to this point. But it’s like talking to a wall that throws tennis balls at you in retaliation. He’s been getting worst for years and now he thinks he has a claim on me.

A claim that I have not only not-consented to but flat-out said no to. So even though it may come off as passive aggressive I finally deleted him from my social media accounts. I can’t do this anymore and I shouldn’t have to live in the fear that he will be around every corner.

I’d really tried but I feel like there is no remedying the situation. He refuses to accept the reality the situation and talking has proven fruitless. It may not feel like a big deal but I feel like I am gaining some control over my life again by doing this. So though I am well aware that there will be negative repercussions I am sticking to my current decisions. Maybe one day we can be friends again but it may not happen but this situation needed to change and I had to be the one to make that change.

 

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