I don’t have a huge social circle and this month really doesn’t offer me much of an opportunity to try because I have so many tests and exams to finish. Namely, my registration exam which is a huge amount of content for me to get through and not a lot of time. Let me say that I have always been a crammer, I’ve always gotten out of it pretty well…this time though cramming like crazy may not be what I need to pass. So basically all I have are very immediate things for me to fix: driving, the name change (which comes in the mail), the veterinary appointment, studying, studying, (did I say) STUDYING, and working out.
Ever since I graduated I’ve felt rather stagnant. Part of me still clinging desperately to my child and student life. The thing is it just isn’t possible anymore. I need more control of my life and though I can control myself I really can’t control others. Some of these relationships I’ve just had to deal with. Dealing with the negativity and the put-downs. But the thing is I can’t do it from this proximity anymore. I feel like I can’t keep doing for others the way I have been and not be a complete mess.
So this month I really have tried to make it about me passing (hopefully!) and gaining the independence necessary for me to be happy. I’m trying to rectify what is within reach this month, finding balance in myself because it is all I can do.
I need to build boundaries. Boundaries that I can’t further establish as things are now. I need to do me. Seriously, self-care, move-forward, live my life, and stop being stagnant.
In all the crazy that is going on right now I feel like 2017 is going to have to be the year that I move forward and say goodbye to all the craziness. Or at least deal with it from a further distance. I feel like once I get a handle on things financially and mentally I can open myself to so much more.
So here’s to me being even more of a total shut-in for a month. In hopes of being less of one after it’s up!