March Update: PCOS (the ongoing struggle)

The thing is ask someone who has PCOS it isn’t easy loosing weight with this syndrome. It can be frustrating and maddening. Depending on whether you are insulin-resistant or not (or wherever on the spectrum), you may find yourself having cravings constantly. My biggest and longest lasting problem with my PCOS has been that I am constantly hungry. It was worst when I was just starting out with this journey than it is now though. I find my hunger tends to set in right after I eat. I’ve found that the longer I’ve had it the more able to distinguish the difference between actual hunger (not eating enough), and the PCOS resistant hunger (which is when your body is telling you to eat more when you don’t need to). The treatment for this is metformin but I don’t tolerate it well at all. Which has brought up the question of whether I truly am insulin resistant or not, but that aside it can be frustrating. The best way I learned to deal with this was measuring food, I find that if I measure my portions I have a better idea of how much I’ve had and what that means. And sometimes I can hack my body by drinking a hot tea after I eat or drinking a big glass of water to feel full until that 1/2 -1hour hour or so before my body realizes that yes I have eaten enough and that no I don’t need to take down the next live animal I find and devour it.

I find myself also snacking. Which I know has mixed reviews but it works for me. I am a lot better about my snacking choices now then I was as a teenager that for darn sure. I eat more fruit, nuts, and veggies as opposed to going for a something unhealthy. I also don’t binge the way I used to. I can’t pinpoint what started this but when but I used to go long periods without eating then I would overcompensate in subsequent meals. The thing is the body especially a PCOS body isn’t going to adjust well to a) not eating for long periods (because you are transferring sugars to fat anyway) or b) overeating overly large meals or small spaces between meals (because you then just store more fat from that meal). For me spacing things out giving my metabolism time to breathe or just digesting in smaller bits seemed to be working well because for the past 6 years I’ve been able to at least maintain a healthy weight.

The thing about being a woman with PCOS is you constantly have your ‘what if moments’. When I started my health journey it was ‘what if I can’t lose weight’,  when I lost the weight I constantly worried about ‘what if I can’t keep it off?’, whenever I gained even a little bit of weight I’d get scared about ‘what if I gain it all back?”, and now I wonder ‘will I ever get back down to my previous weight?’. That’s the thing about PCOS you constantly worry about these things because for the most part you just don’t know. There is so much uncertainty about…well everything…Then there’s the concern over when you will get diabetes. I feel like my relationship with sugar is a rocky one. I’m not like my older sister (who is insulin resistant) and says no sugar ever. I do eat sugar and I do have fruit I try to moderate the amount but I worry about how much is too much. None of my endocrinologists have ever had a good idea of when it will happen when I bring it up I usually get told “Well you are a healthy weight so I’m not concerned. But if you are concerned we can give you metformin.” To which I say “Nah, I’m good”. And then nothing.

At this point all I can do is just have faith that the ways in which I am trying will be enough to become healthier or if they aren’t then either I will just live with this as my new normal or have to try to re-strategize with an endocrinologist. I’ll be sure to update you guys soon though!


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