Well my social anxiety is getting worst….

I think over the last year my social anxiety has taken a turn for the worst which sucks because I don’t want that. I was really working at overcoming it. O was trying.

But honestly since September of 2016 I’ve sorta just fallen off the map. I was never big on social media but even with my blog I’ve been scarce.

To be honest I think part of it was me not wanting others badgering me about what I’m doing and comparing themselves to me just because ice had so many health challenges and even though I am overcoming some hurdles I’m still moving at a slower pace. I’m still proud of myself. But I don’t want virtual strangers diminishing my progress.

Another thing is that I’ve been going out way less. I mean I went to a uni of 35 000 people I had to deal with people all the time. I had a very sociable job. Those thing s being gone means very little going out and now when I go out I feel immediate stress.

I get the butterflies, then I get clumsy, I’ve basically become a fulltime space cadet which has led to even more embarrassing encounters. I don’t know but it seems like people who I’ve avoided for years have somehow started poping up everywhere at the worst of times.

I know I need to work on it. I need to get back out there again and get back to where I was socially. Because I do like having friends and meaningful relationships. But it can be tough when you’ve made yourself a hermit.

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2 thoughts on “Well my social anxiety is getting worst….

  1. Hey, i’ve read your post and I think in a kind of way i understand the feeling, the difficulty. This challenge of knowing you ‘should’ go out, make contacts, get involved with the ‘real’ world and on the other hand feeling scared, tired and unable to see or meet or worse talk to other people.

    In the past i solved my anxiety often with booze, which was a terrible idea, because it all makes it much worse. I think that only feeling good about yourself (however this could be done) and experience a bit of success makes this anxiety maybe go away or weakens it. And feeling good about yourself is so difficult…

    I can’t give any advice, because these problems are so personal. I think i found a way – at least by now-for me.
    I don’t push myself to freetime-activities but to do all social activities in my job. Otherwise it would cost too much energy. Learning that i can do the social job things made me feel a bit better, so that sometimes – very few times – i feel ok about myself and want to go out.

    But coping with this feeling inside yourself only works until you reach a level, when the anxiety tricks you. There were times i wasn’t even able to shop groceries, drive my car or even speak. It was really bad. So i went for help. Medication didn’t work, but somehow the therapy, better the other people there, gave me the feeling i was ok. This gave me the courage to go on in my life, every day, nearly every minute fighting not to struggle then,but my head is still over, not under water.

    So in a nutshell i think it’s good to listen to yourself. There are times you maybe not able to control your anxiety. If these are short periods it’s (for me) acceptable. But if nothing works anymore in the end i think one needs help.
    I wish you strength and believe in you. No one knows you better than you do.

    Like

    • Hi thank you so much for sending me this comment! When I was younger I used to be really insecure and I didn’t have the best group of friends at the time. I was bullied as well. I worked really hard at changing myself and becoming a me that I liked more. And i’d begun to make friends again. Who accepted me. But over the past few years the new friends I’ve made have sort of just vanished from my life. In some cases they literally just moved away and in other cases they decided they wanted to reinvent themselves. And that meant leaving everyone behind from their previous self.
      I think over the years I’ve just becoming really scared of trusting people because I feel like I’m just going to be hurt. I think what happened is I started withdrawing. And now I just feel anxiety even meeting people or being in groups of people.
      I know that mentally not everyone will hurt me or abandon me but I feel like it’s become entrenched in my being. I think part of it is me feeling better about myself professionally and the other part might be going into social situations more.
      I’ll probably have to start small because groups are really hard for me…
      Thank you so much for telling me a bit about your story though I really appreciated this!

      Like

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