I Don’t Know What is About Cats

It’s just that sometimes they seem to know when you are having a really off day and somehow know how to make it that much worse.

Now don’t get me wrong I love my cats. Today is a beautiful day. But I am sick as a dog.

I woke up late. Around 11am. My cat was suspiciously quiet. Going to check on him I realized that 1) he’d locked himself in the bathroom (it closes from the inside so he does this a lot), 2) he’d pooped in front of the litter box but not in it 3) He turned off the ceiling fan so it was smelly 4) my other cat (or him I’m not sure who’s the culprit here) had pooped in the new litter I’d just bought<—this was by far the most annoying because this means that for 2 out of 3 days they've done this and I KNOW that I am sealing it shut. So somebody's learned to open it.

It made for a long rest of my morning cleaning, cleaning, and trying my best to keep the integrity of the new litter then physically moving it to the closet. It will be harder to fill the litter boxes now but I don't want them peeing or pooping in it like that.

Sometimes I think my cats are geniuses in mischief.

They aren't sick that's not why they do these things. But for the last few days I spent less time with them because I have been at work and sick and by the time I get home I felt so bad I crashed. This morning was the first day I haven't had to wake up so I slept through their breakfast…

Needless to say my cats paid me back for that miscalculation.

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Birds In The Walls

For the next few weeks I’m going to be using the point of birds in the wall.

A few weeks ago, I saw a bird frequenting an open insulation vent. The house is about 12 years old now so things like that need to be fixed. It’s a pretty minor job of either just closing the plastic vent closed (because winter forced them open) or buying a new one (which is still fairly cheap).

Then I started hearing the bird. Shuffling as if it was inside the house. Dry wall being chipped away at (or at least something sounding as important). The bird would call at random times. However, it was worse in the morning.

I had brought it up because it makes studying challenging when all you hear is wall being moved around and bird calling for hours. This isn’t nice bird call it’s grating. The more active I am the more agitated the bird gets.

So I told my dad knowing he’d dealt with this in the old house. I told him and told him to the point where I knew I was being a nag.

But this wasn’t like the time when the birds had decided to make a nest on top of a light and then it fell off a day later (no worries no eggs or babies were harmed).

This vent had room enough, shelter from the elements, and with no branches it would be hard for the cats or other predators to get to it. To a bird I’m sure this seemed perfect.

The best answer I got was maybe it would fly away.

Welp. Now I have (at least 4) baby birds on top of their mother’s squawking crying in hunger all morning, all afternoon, and random times in the night.

I can’t do anything in the living room without them losing it and the mama acts crazy when I try to get in the front door. (Please don’t turn this into the movie!)

To be honest I feel like the birds in the wall can represent a deeper issue when it comes to me, my family, and communication.

But for the next few weeks I will have to live with the birds in the wall till they grow enough to fly away…

I Need To Take A Step Back and Be Real

It’s funny how much our opinions and thoughts can change regarding a social situation but it really did. Last week, I was saying I wasn’t mad. That the ball was in her court. But when I heard back from her I realized just how wrong I was.

It’s not that I am angry but I feel like I’ve moved on from this situation. I really do. It’s not that she’s bad people, or that I am bad people (least I am hoping not). It’s just that it doesn’t fit anymore.

We used to be on the same wavelength. We used to like be matching pieces of a puzzle. Somewhere along the way those pieces stopped fitting together and for the last year I was trying desperately to fit them together. Things kept changing and then it was like it wasn’t even the same puzzle anymore. Our frequencies were so out of sink that it wasn’t even the same radio anymore.

I think ultimately, I thought I could fix things. That I could change myself to bare with it like I had previously. I kept modifying and modifying but it just isn’t right. It’s holding me back.

I realize that going back is just accepting not being accepted for who I am. I understand that it is accepting someone grasping to the past me without allowing me the present me to be herself. I feel like staying is subjecting myself to constant rejection and veiling of my true self. It’s accepting to live that way.

I feel like if we part now it may not be totally amicable but it will be a lot worse if it’s later.

I mean if we go back to that point of not being accepting of me for who I am then won’t it just become me not being accepting of her being as she is? I think at the end of the day it isn’t fair for me to expect that of anyone. This is how she’s been for 12 years it’s just as I change she gets more upset and our friendship takes a turn for the worst.

I just can’t continue to stick around for that though. I don’t want to live my life resenting someone who helped me so much when I needed it. Even if that isn’t the case anymore I would like to respect the person and the memory.

I keep asking myself if it was all in my head these things. But then I mention a wee point and my sister flips out and I realize that there is no science to this. There’s no right and wrong there are just emotions and what it comes down to is lack of feeling safe, which comes down to lack of trust and understanding. I don’t feel accepted and supported anymore. These were the last pillars standing and they are gone. Relationships require respect and caring. And though I respect her I can’t continue the fa├žade of caring for this relationship anymore, I care about the person, but not for the way the friendship has been going.

In a week maybe a few we meet up I have no idea what to say. I don’t think that some things really even need to be said. I think we both know it’s time to part ways.

Nap Time Anyone?

Yesterday and today were my days off. Yesterday I woke up pretty bright and early to get everything done though. There’s so much that needed to be cleaned and organized. So today was supposed to be my sleep in day…you know till my alarm clock decided to ring 5 times in 15 minutes…and then I think I was just scared that it would keep going off so I let it alone. But now that the alarm clock seems to no longer be in the mood to harass me I WILL get my afternoon nap!

Things that People Who Online Shop Get

I like to online shop. Generally, it’s my preference. I can take my time to do it, revisit the pages if I don’t find anything for new arrivals, sometimes they have better selection/or deals, there’s less hassle. Because I thought there are other people who get some of the things that happen when you online shop.

Buying more just to avoid shipping

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This one I happen to do. Don’t get me wrong added 5.99 isn’t so bad but there are stores where the shipping cost is $12 in which case you have to load it up so that at least you make the most of that! Problem is I never quite get $50 it’s always over…

In the days waiting for your purchase you will be anticipating it greatly.

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It may become obsessive.
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Or if your me watching the tracking notifications every 2 hours to see when it will arrive. You may or not clear your afternoon to be sure you are there to receive it.

And well there is always this…

(that jacket I really wanted when I was in my first year…glad I never bought it now…)

All funnies aside though I don’t really get surprises like this when I online shop anymore. There are very few times I actually place a return to stores and that generally is just a lighting or a cut issue (my shoulders are broad so certain cuts are No Bueno!)

These days I do tend to be pretty cautious I haven’t had big surprises like this but I like to know what my sizing is with a brand so I can make an educated guess of what will look good and what won’t.

For anyone waiting for a package (me!) to be strong!

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