Early Morning Musings

It is a pretty random time to be posting, especially after how long it’s been since I’ve posted. But here I am! It’s 2:30 in the morning. I should be waking up for work in two hours, and yet I’ve been awake since midnight. Tomorrow (well, today, I suppose) has the added element of me…

The Anticipation of Job Searching

Job searching is hard. On the one hand, I know I am privileged to have a job. But being realistic, I know that my job doesn’t pay me enough to live independently. Which, at this point, is my goal. I want to be able to live on my own within the next year. The reality…

I didn’t Expect for it to Come Out That Way

Over the years, I’ve gotten used to my sexuality. I’ve come to terms with it. I’m not huge on labels, but if someone asks, I usually say I’m pan. I have a fantastic group of friends. Without knowing it, I had become apart of a rainbow baby group, as we call ourselves. I’m comfortable with…

Where I Went Wrong In Past Friendships

I find myself in a position where I have created new friendships in my adult life over the past year and a half especially, and I find myself looking at past experiences and the lessons I’ve learned from them: Really in my entire life, there are only three friendships I’ve ended. And if I am…

Getting it Together

Covid19 kind of put a damper on this year. Plans that I had came to a halt—especially the school-related ones. Part of the downside of the hold is it means another 6-9 months before I can get an actual well paying job that will support me in living on my own and starting my own…

I’m Done Talking To Him

For a long time, I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. I really did. I really thought he’d person up and be a better person. But life isn’t one thing or the other. I feel like talking to him is such a waste of time. It’s wasted breath. I cared at one…

Not the best return to work state

So I’m going to work tomorrow and to be honest I’m not in the best place to be returning to work post lockdown. Now many might ask well wasn’t this the best time for you to get everything together? Well yes. And there’s were things I managed to do that I never would have otherwise…

Dear Icarus:

Out of every person on this planet (save for one) I would hope that you wouldn’t only want me for what I can offer you. But alas that’s the harsh reality. One that I’ve always known even vocalized before being quickly dissuaded by others from that notion. Of course you cared, of course you were…

He Broke Our Hearts

I mean if you have experienced someone important leave you, willingly. You will know what the feeling of abandonment feels like. You know the heartbreak that comes with that. The sad thing is, it is a complicated thing to process being abandoned. Left behind. In favour of something better. Maybe that’s why I cut people…

Sometimes It’s the Frustration of Holding Back

If I am honest. With myself. With bloggers. I’d admit that sometimes I wish I was the uninhibited teenage me and that I would just let my frustrations out. The reality is I’ve held back for so long in terms of expressing my feelings and emotions. I let others berate me when they get upset…